Beautiful setup!
As for your questions - Don't use your Kalk to chase pH. Set your drip rate to match your top-off needs and watch your Ca and Alk (you can drip Kalk only at night to support pH and counteract the diurnal swings.) Restricting the output with a valve will be problematic as the valve will clog with mineral deposits changing the drip rate and requiring more maintenance. A better solution is an ATO (I use an Osmolator.) You can also separate your ATO from your Kalk and use a peristaltic pump (BRS pumps are great) controlled by your Apex for dosing Kalk - Lots of options.
As for the drain - It's generally NOT a good idea to place any restriction on the drain side. Instead, place a valve on the feed side to slow your overflows to the desired flow rates. If more flow is needed in the tank, use power heads - although it looks like you've got plenty of flow.
Good luck - you're off to a great start