The three primary contenders for controlling a system of that scale and complexity are the GHL Profilux 3, the Digital Aquatics Reefkeeper Elite, and the Neptune Systems Apex. The Profilix will cost a small king's ransom to build out to cover all of your requirements. The other two will still cost a good sum, but not nearly as much as the Profilux.
The RKE is overall easier to use, but I think the Apex is more scalable and flexible for your purposes. As mentioned earlier, the RKE is primarily monitored and controlled via a PC software interface, with a limited web capability; the Apex is a web-based system. Apex systems have wired networking built in, the RK has an optional network module. Neither has native WiFi, but they can be connected to a wireless router with a third party wireless adapter which typically cost about $60. When connected to a network, both can do email alerts if configured conditions are met, ie temp or pH is too high or too low.
Both RK and Apex have expansion modules to add the desired number of probes - temp, ORP, and salinity/conductivity. Both also have the capability to control 0-10v dimmable lighting and controllable Tunze Stream pumps. For the top-of-line Apex, this is built in (up to 4 channels of dimmable lighting or 4 Tunze pumps, or a combination thereof), and more channels can be added with add-on modules; the Apex Lite and RKE support these capabilities only through added modules.
Apex can control Vortech pumps; RKE cannot. Both system can control AI Sol LED fixtures. Of note is that the DA module still does not support the Sol SuperBlue (3-channel control)
Apex works with Macs; there is no support whatsoever for Macs from Digital Aquatics, if tags matters to you. Apex has an official iPhone/IPad app as well as a well-supported Android app from a third party. I am not entirely up to date on apps for DA controllers, so will leave any commentary on that to others.